A thousand-year-old monster's immortal ascension crumbles spectacularly—only to stumble backward through time into their 9-year-old self. Cultivation awaits again, but revenge tastes sweeter. The problem? The idiot who destroyed them wasn't even born yet—just a precocious child who'll eventually become the insufferable protagonist of a trashy harem novel. Unable to strike directly at the future main character without cosmic retribution, our monster opts for a sinister alternative: reshape the child into something better, faster, stronger, and utterly devoted. A Xianxia comedy and satirical romp from the creator of Tanking Hits and Tome of Stealth, told through interconnected chronological short stories with recurring characters. Think Fred the Vampire Accountant meets cultivation fantasy. New chapter every Friday at 2:15PM PST.